he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
