I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
