Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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