Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
