I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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