Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
