we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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