Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
