just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
