We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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