...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
