when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
