Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
