you're like a bully in the Christmas story
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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