I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
