did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
