My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just gift wrapped bread.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It's official drugs can't kill me
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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