he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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