I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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