I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
