just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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