i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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