I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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