Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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