We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
