he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
