No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
