her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
