google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
