This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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