i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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