I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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