Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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