I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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