Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
