Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Green mimosas i think yes
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I fill condoms, not promises.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Please don't give away my fajitas
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
