Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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