I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
