I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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