recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There's a naked man in my car right now.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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