i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
