I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
