I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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