There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
