New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
porn star boner night. come get it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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