I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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