I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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