The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
