you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
