wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
