Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
