Porn is love you can see.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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