I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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