I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
