I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
