You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize