i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
