I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
