I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
