oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
