i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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