I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
